Sunday, June 3, 2012

Did it do any good?

Well yesterday we had "the talk" with MIL and FIL. We turned off the tv and all sat in the living room and I started the conversation telling them that we are all here because we are all adults and we need to communicate as such. points made were:

1. Hubz feels like he has been banned from the living areas and is not allowed to use his stuff any more (ie, tv, computer, etc...)

2. Hubz also feels like he cannot sat anything because they own the house and they are his parents.

3. Although we really do appreciate the fixing of the household things, please ask before you do something. (mentioned the ruined clothes and boxes of soap and fabric softener).

3b. Respect and consideration for others and their property. if you drop something pick it up (common sense). If you use something, put it back, if you break something, fix it or tell the owner.

4. I need everyone out of my craft room BEFORE I get home. I need my privacy and space to work.

5. There are 3 grown people in this house and I am the only one currently working so I should not have to come home from work to overflowing dishes and trash. Pick up after yourself, wash the dishes you use and keep an eye out for the trash, if it gets full, empty it.

6. None of us (as far as I know) can read each others mind... I hope... so please open your mouth and say something. If hubz wants to watch tv or play video games he is going to have to ask for the tv back. If MIL is doing dishes and needs them put away, ask.

7. Dogs. Stop feeding them people food. And make sure they are ALL in before you close the door. (at least one of the dogs has been left outside on more than 3 occasions).

8. I also told them about me going to school (still waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one) and about being laid off in one month. MIL looked like she was about to have a panic attack. She got a little hysterical and raised her voice and said that the only income they have is her social security check and the bills it pays. Then she said FIL needs to do something, either get a job or go apply for social security. She continued saying their meds are about $1,000 a month and she has medicare but that is all. FIL had insurance through his employer and now he has nothing. FIL also has not called his employer since a week after he was laid off to find another job. She said, "I have done everything I can, if you can get him to call or do something you are welcome to try." I looked at FIL and told him, "You need to call them first thing Monday morning." He did not respond.

So after the "come to Jesus" meeting, I asked hubz what he thought, and he said it wouldn't do any good. To which I replied, but at least we made our peace. If you got fired because you were late and your boss never warned you, it would be totally unfair. But if your boss says, if you are late one more time you are fired, then fair play. We aired our grievances so now no one can say, well they didn't know how you felt.

I feel bad for MIL. She is an anxious, depressed woman. If she could I think she would go out and get a job but her physical limitations prevent that. FIL seems quite content to tinker around the house all day (usually ending in something of ours ruined) instead of finding gainful employment or income.


Last night MIL asked me where a particular shirt was and I had no clue what happened to it. Last time I saw it she was cutting off "jewels" from it. She said, "If I am going to be sewing that wedding dress for your client, I need that shirt to practice on." When I told her the dress was not made out of that kind of material, she argued with me that it was. I told her my client said it was a jersey dress but it is more slinky than t-shirt material. and she says yes that was what that shirt was made from.


Let me tell you what is so very wrong with this picture...

First of all SHE WAS NEVER THERE! I showed her a pic from my camera phone but she never saw the dress or the fabric in real life. I do not have a sample of the fabric... So how can a person sit there and argue with you over something they have not seen in person or felt the texture of?

Secondly, no one, not me, nor my client, nor hubz asked her or even mentioned needing her help. I am perfectly capable of doing ALL of the alterations required on this dress. If I were not 100% confident in my abilities there is NO way I would attempt it, or even suggest such a feat.

This just goes to show me that she still does not think I know what I am doing. See past post.


Today, I kidnapped hubz to be my chauffeur while bestie and I went supply shopping. As we were headed out the door, MIL asked if I could find some 6" wide lace to make gloves for the steampunkers, they would like them. I know she is trying to help and trying to contribute, but sometimes you just want to do your own thing. I found and bought lace, I am going to get her to make a pair for me and see if I want to add it to the inventory.

I am also going to hurt hubz if he keeps on telling them all my business! Sometimes you just wanna go and not have to say anything to anyone. Why do we have to tell them where we are going? We are adults, grown folk who do not need permission (much less judgement) about where we go and what we do.

So tired and exhausted. productive day and great time being out of the house! I want to move so bad!

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